ohcurlyone

Hurry Up !!

2008-09-14T11:13:00.000-07:00

and watch this before NBC finds it and yanks it off. Laughed so hard I cried.

I love this...

2008-09-10T15:10:00.000-07:00

... watch how pissed of he gets midway through. He looks like he wants to spit out of disgust.

"Conservative women ecstatic over Palin"

2008-09-10T12:53:00.000-07:00

... from USA Today headline. Most of the women interviewed at the campaign rally at Franklin and Marshall College and by phone were middle aged homemakers/stay at home moms. The general consensus is that all of these women support the potential VP for three reasons : her stance on women's right to abortion (she's pro-life), she's a mom, and she's a woman.

Conservative women are gushing over the fact that she chose to have a baby even after she was informed the baby would have Down syndrome and because her 17 yr old daughter opted to have her baby despite being young and unwed. Any woman in her 40's who decides to get pregnant is probably aware that the chances of having a child with Down syndrome are extremely high. (Despite many years of research to identify risk factors associated with Down syndrome, only one factor, advanced maternal age, has been well established. CDC website)) There is a 1 in 30 chance that a pregnant woman aged 45 years will deliver a child with Down syndrome. Gov. Palin was 44 when she gave birth. But who needs science and medicine when you've got God, right? Let's applaud this genius. As for her daughter... she's 17. She's probably in love with her boyfriend and welcomes this opportunity as a means to trap and keep him. Not that he's complaining.. his future mother-in-law is the future Vice President of the United States. Think of all the job opportunities he'll have now.

Let's not leave out the fact that the Palin's are a family with means. Caring for dependents monetarily is not an obstacle for them. Children born with Down syndrome are dependents for life. Can you really blame someone who doesn't want to take on that responsibility? Also, Palin's daughter will never have to worry about how she's going to finish college while working to support her child. I'm sure mommy will work something out.

I just think it's plain silliness for any of these three factors to play a role in determining who one would vote for. I'm beginning to wonder if women should have been granted the right after all. Seriously, these women are an embarrassment to our gender. Especially the so-called "hockey moms" and unemployed home-makers. Get a job and stop popping out kids and maybe then you will actually have something better to say. I apologize if I sound cynical and angry... I think Sarah Palin's self-righteous grin is getting to me.

2008-08-18T18:55:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've blogged. Here's a few things I've been into lately:

Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series. - Bella Swan is an impossibly clumsy teenage girl in love with a vampire. Of course. In the second book of the series she discovers her best friend is a werewolf. Really, can it get any better this? Alas, it does have some faults. Too much over characterization. If that is even an actual term for criticism. Bella is too clumsly. The vampire is too broody. The situations are sooo dramatic. Edward (the vamp) has to save Bella's life like every five seconds and the one time he thinks he's failed, he attempts suicide. Seriously, these two put Romeo and Juliet to shame.
Furniture Shopping- In the market for a new sofa. I'm stuck on this.

Getting ready for fall.- The mums are out. Soon it will be pumpkins. I bought two sweaters and a black patent leather bag on a day it was 80. And hot tea. Lot's of hot tea.

Old New Kids on the Block videos. - . They are in the process of trying to stage a comeback but I don't think it's going to pan out. When my 14 year old daughter and her friends laugh at "these old guys trying to dance", you know it's time to throw in the towel and call it a night. The smart ones will go into real estate or start producing younger hipper acts that will actually make some money. I had to put her down with the old stuff lest her think that my teenage crushes were just big dorks. Well... they really were. Here's the latest vid that has all the kids cracking up. The beginning shows them separately at all of these exotic locations, (on speed boats, driving Porches) when each of them gets a call on their high tech cell phones to presumably reunite. Doubt it. Aside from Donnie, who actually has had other career oppurtunities, these NKOTB were still hangin tough in Boston praying for that phone call. If you don't have time to waste, fast forward to the end when they are doing the "Hangin Tough" arm wave on the beach... hilarious.

"Fifty bucks, grandpa..."

2008-07-06T23:02:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching The Guardian and discovered two things that surprised me:

1. That Ashton Kutcher is really a good actor.

2. and that Kevin Costner is hot.

I know that a lot of women have been on the Costner train for a while and that I'm really late on this one, but when I found myself melting when he smiled and his crows feet became deeper, I began to wonder if I was developing a thing for older men. Nah, but Ashton has nothing on this man. Now if I could only see what all the hype over George Clooney is all about...

how bout "D O R K" ?

2008-07-04T08:43:00.000-07:00

I've decided to add a regular feature to my blog- Pet Peeve of the Week. Since I've been having trouble coming up with any interesting material and aggrivation is never in short supply, it seems to be a win-win situation.

This weeks pet peeve: lame vanity plates. I cannot tell you how annoying it is to me when someone with a slightly better than average vehicle slaps a liscense plate on it that says "4u2nv". That was seen on the orange bumper of a Scion that looked similar to this one. I'm sure the guy behind him in the convertable BMW was very very jealous. Yesterday I was driving and saw a newish Mitsubishi Eclipse with the tags- "gtsnvme". So, you're saying all gt's envy your 2004 Eclipse? Cuz this is a gt, and so is this... and this... Whatever, you moron.

Then there are the Jesus freaks who like to display their devotion to their lord and savior by slapping some variation of his name on the ass of their transportation. The owner of a pizza joint in Blasdell has a plate that reads- "L O R D" Lord of the Rings? Lord of the Dance? Lord of Gino's Pizza? No, only a born again could be so corny.

And a person who puts his/her name on a liscence plate ranks right up there in the stupid category with someone who would put it on their bicep.

However, there are some that I can appreciate... I saw a blond woman in her 40's driving a white Jaguar convertable around Deleware circle a few years ago with a vanity plate that said "Thanks Larry" She either snagged herself a sugar daddy or won it in the divorce settlement. Now that's sassy.

a rant

2008-05-29T15:47:00.000-07:00

WHY?? God, why did you allow for the invention of the mini-van? They are the bane of my existence... I just don't understand the mental process that results in all mini-van drivers going 10 miles below the speed limit. " Hey you, plump lady with the bad haircut and the annoying kids ... get the fuck out of the passing lane!"

Buffy alum sighting

2008-05-13T09:10:00.000-07:00

Spike- aka James Marsters, plays best pal and business parter to King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) in the uber-sappy P. S. I Love You. It's unsettling to hear him speak with an American accent, which is of course his real accent. Also there is a reference to vampire slaying in the movie. Looks like someone on board of this disaster is a fan of The Joss. Movie was tedious, with all the forced crying and contrived lovey-dovey moments but... the men are delicious, Lisa Kudrow is hilarious, and the soundtrack is pretty damn good.

And I sought for a man among them that should make up the hedge, and stand in the gap before me in the land, that I should not destroy it:

2008-04-24T17:40:00.000-07:00

..... but I found none.

The biggest problem I have with racists is that they never really know what the hell they are talking about. I've tolerated racist comments or jokes from people I know (with a cringe), because I realize they one or all of three things:

unintelligent
uninformed
unmotivated by goodwill to not be either of the first two

Speaking in terms of racism against black Americans, the most prevalent beliefs racists have revolve around the idea that most of their precious tax money taken out of their paychecks is going to feed black babies while the parents of said black babies sit on corners smoking crack. Here are the stats on welfare recipients. That's right, there are more whites receiving public welfare than blacks. Oh, and never mind the hefty salaries we pay our politicians who use your tax money to eat better, travel better, and get better prostitutes than you or I ever could.

The second most sited grievance racists seem to have against the black population in this country is the fact that a great majority of people in prisons is comprised of black males. While this maybe true (here are the stats on that as well), has it ever occurred that blacks are singled out or to put it a better way, racially profiled? how many white folks do you know that have committed a crime and never made it past their first court appearance? Or have even been arrested at all for that matter. Blacks seem to get the full punishment for a crime committed while whites get a slap on the wrist.(pay special attention to Rates Of Incarceration in that last link) I realize this is a generalization as well but you can't ignore these facts. Read the statutes on the punishment for possession of cocaine versus crack cocaine. I don't find much of a difference between the two. Not that I've ever done either.
But these stats seem to support the generalization that blacks are incarcerated more for selling drugs while whites do them. What comes first? The chicken or the egg? Has it come to this? Are you kidding me?

Personally, on a daily basis I see more of the kind of racism that is directed at style and language. Seemingly benign, comments on slang or Ebonics and the way of dressing in clothes so baggy you can see ones boxers are thrown around so flippantly one hardly even notices them anymore. This is blatantly an attack on "otherness" and the fear that someone different from you must be morally corrupt or stupid. I have better things to do than concern myself with how someone chooses to dress or talk. But I have seen people boil over with hatred and even turn to violence based on these two things alone.

I am ill equipped to attempt this last argument with the thoroughness that it deserves but I am going to attempt it anyway; The belief that 400 years of institutionalized degradation has nothing to do with the current social problems facing the black community. 400 years of the separation of families based on sales, 400 years of systematic rape, 400 years of prohibited education, 400 years of starvation and torture, 400 years of convincing and entire race of people that they are worth less based on the color of their skin... no, that can't possibly have affected the consciousness of men both black and white alike. These attitudes weren't passed down to children and grandchildren and so forth. Slavery was abolished when, the 1860's? So there has been some 140 odd years to recover and everything should be ok now? Not to mention that attitudes did not change immediately if at all. I know my great grandparents were not responsible, they did not come to America until 1919 and later. But I find it ethically negligent not to factor in the affect slavery had and still has when looking at the social structure and behaviors of black Americans. Slaves reformulated the Christian religion to suit their situation and cope with what they faced. Ideas like suffering is God's will and endurance will benefit one in the afterlife were relied upon more than the ideas that all men are equal and that all members of humanity are brothers. Famous slave authors like Martin Delaney came to the conclusion that the only things white men respected were money and power and that if you wanted to earn their respect you had to have both of those things: "I'll show you when we leave for the north , what money will do for you, right here in the Mississippi. Bear this in mind; it is your certain passport through the white gap, as I term it." Listen to any rap song and the main theme uniting them is how much money the rapper earns, what kind of car he drives and how many hot "bitches" he bangs. This did not come out of nowhere. Family structure during those times was almost not permitted to exist. They were ripped apart when sold because land owners would rather buy a healthy adult male alone than have to pay for the upkeep of his wife and children. If there is an abundance of single black mothers I say hmmmmm. Not that the factors are the same but the acceptance of it is there and it came from somewhere. There is a perpetuation of poverty and of of not pursuing further education that doesn't seem to me to be simply a matter of choice.

I guess what I'm trying to get at here is that if you perceive a problem, a social problem that affects the multitudes of an entire race, why would you laugh and point fingers instead of looking a little deeper. Some things just aren't funny, they are sad. I can't claim to have the answers but I think about it. So unless you are actively looking for a solution to these issues, stop bitching. You have no right. It is embarrassing to benefit from being white in a society where that's what is respected only to turn around and be an asshole to others who are not so fortunate.

I did it again!!!

2008-04-17T07:01:00.000-07:00

I'm telling you man, I really think that I have reflexes that are of the super human caliber. Today at the gym, I spun the cap off of my water bottle with my left hand and it flipped out of my fingers and then - (wait for it) I simultaneously lifted the water bottle to my mouth with my right hand and caught the cap with my left......! It was like so smooth, so effortless. I even impressed myself this time. You know what the best part is? Trainer Dave caught the whole thing. Oh yeah. He did a double take and said, " Holy shit! You have great reflexes ! But no balance. Gimme three sets of twelve."

Update

2008-04-10T18:09:00.000-07:00

All moved in my new place and mostly unpacked. The cable guys came over the other day and installed my internet but left my computer on a short leash. Apparently my brother's friend wiped out a little too much when he last cleaned my hard drive and rendered my computer wireless-less. So I blog to you from my living room floor- very very close to the wall.
The new place pretty much sucks. First of all, I can't smoke in my apartment. The only time this actually poses a problem for me is when I'm blogging or writing. Somewhere in my programming, the creative process is directly linked to slowly killing myself. Getting up every 15 minutes to go outside is severely hindering my flow.Since quitting smoking has been on my futile "to-do" lists for the last several years, I was hoping (in vain ?)that a non-smoking apartment would add a little gumption. There's a new quit program out called EX whose philosophy is that you have to "re-learn to live your life... without cigarettes." Basically, you identify triggers, or behaviors you associate with smoking, and learn how to do them without smoking. The commercial I saw showed this guy attempting to drink a cup of coffee... every time he brought it to his mouth he'd spill it all over his chin. Point: If you can re-learn to drink a cup of coffee, you can re-learn to do anything. I guess.
(smoke break)
Then there's the problem of living on a heavily trafficked main road. Every time I go to my car or step outside to get some fresh air, i.e smoke, I feel too visible. I'm afraid my patterns will be detected by some shady segment of the neighborhood and make me the perfect candidate for a break-in or worse. And not having a second exit as a means to escape does not do well on the nerves. Add in the creepy-crawlies that tend to hang out in basement apartments and you've got one very unhappy new tenant. Maybe I just need a little more time to get comfortable. I'm thinking that getting the books on the shelves and actually bringing in my bedroom furniture once it's refinished will add some warmth. The cardboard box dressers I've constructed, while clever and useful, do nothing for the soul.

Until then, I may be falling asleep on your sofa in mid-conversation due to the lack of sleep I've been getting. Don't wake me unless I start to drool. I need the rest, but please spare me the humiliation. Thanks.

Also, will be posting on my new blog about the glamorous world of chronically dating
(mainly losers) sometime later today. Feel free to check it out.

lappy-not-so-happy

2008-03-15T09:08:00.000-07:00

It's not that I didn't want to finish the homestretch... my computer crashed : (

ever the exhibitionist ...

2008-03-13T08:00:00.000-07:00

... here goes:

I eat raw meat right out of the package. Beef only.
I have a serious aversion to running errands. I just mailed a birthday card to my good friend yesterday who's birthday was in November.
I don't hug or kiss my mom. Not as a rule, it just works out that way.
I like that feeling right before you get the flu when your body is a weak and achy and anything cold that touches your skin really hurts.
I sing Jewel songs in the shower.
This is a super embarrassing one -I still suck my thumb occasionally when I fall asleep. It just happens.
I used to shop lift all the time when I was a kid. Mostly lip gloss. I never got caught but every single one of my friends did at one time or another. I guess I was smarter.
I had a huge crush on my friend Gina's dad who sadly passed away a few years ago. I didn't tell her or her mom until after he was gone. Gina's mom said she couldn't blame me.
I make Imani start the car in the morning 10 min before I drive her to school. We live close enough for her to walk. So that's our deal; she wants a ride, gotta start the car.
I am obsessed with my goldfish Sheldon. I take exceptionally good care of him.

POP!

2008-03-12T11:42:00.000-07:00

Maybe I'm a sicko, but I find it absolutely freakin hilarious when women get punched in the face. I just realized this when I was watching Romeo is Bleeding and Gary Oldman punches Lena Olin in the face after she tries to strangle him. And the only good thing about The Way of the Gun was the scene where Ryan Phillipe and Benicio Del Toro beat up two chicks in the parking lot who totally deserved it. Sara Silverman's filthy mouth is priceless. Sooo funny! I know there are more out there so if you think of any let me know.

This clip is from a pta meeting or something...

catching up

2008-03-12T08:15:00.000-07:00

I know I've been a poor participant these last few days so I'm going skip the formalities and jump right into catching up...

1. What is your favorite word?
- For the way they sound: reconnoiter, spang-dangle*, plethora, bauble
For what they mean: dream, grace, love, compassion, inspiration, fruition...

What is your least favorite word?
- Any word referring to bodily functions for both sound and meaning
also boatswain... because you pronounce it bosun and that just pisses me off

2. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
-Beauty, quality, luxury... the struggle to express or understand emotions and moments that are intangible and always fleeting... anything elusive... connecting the dots... building bridges through shared human experiences,

What turns you off?
-money, complacency, the status quo

3. What sound or noise do you love?
-I used to live by train tracks. The sound of a train in the middle of the night is the most lulling, dream inducing, meditative sound I've ever heard. Also, Avril Lavigne's voice, my daughter saying "mama" and cicada songs in the summer(i used to think it was the sound the sun made when it got really hot)
What sound or noise do you hate?
-any alarm clock noise, goes right through me

4. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
-estate sales and antiques dealing. Old objects hold some magical quality for me. Agency for artists of any genre who are more talented than I.
What profession would you not like to do?
-anything involving a desk and a business casual dress code, drug dealing (legal or illegal), and politics

5. What is your favorite curse word?
-motherfucker

6. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
- "Yes I do exist and no I'm not pissed at you. Get in there..."

* spang-dangled is a word i use to describe anything that is too decorated in a gaudy way.

What Cinderella sits on when she watches t.v.

2008-03-07T16:08:00.000-08:00

How absolutely gorgeous is this sofa! It's on Ebay with an opening bid of $499.00. It is so fairy tale princess and I want it, I want it, I want it!

If you decide to proceed, turn to page 23

2008-03-06T14:22:00.000-08:00

I remember once my father saying to my mother that he was afraid I might have a social disorder or something because I was reading Nancy Drew in the living room on a sunny afternoon. He was serious and I was offended. So to address todays topic of things I was into when I was a kid, I'd have to say books have shaped my life more than anything.

I wanted to be as stylish and popular as Jessica Wakefield from Sweet Valley High. Jessica was boy crazy, didn't like playing by the rules and lied and connived to get herself out of any hot water she had gotten herself into. If that didn't work,she could always count on her good and wholesome sister Elizabeth to help her out..I would literally ask myself "WWJD?"(What would Jessica do?) before making decisions. The problem with that however, was that I ended up in more trouble than I probably would have on my own. As you can see, not much has changed.
I wasn't a totally lost case though... geekdom prevailed and I found my way to the Choose Your Own Adventure section at my local library. I became addicted. I had my little plastic library bag that I hung on the handlebars of my brother's BMX and I would ride there a few times a week and check out new ones. I still look at life like a choose your own adventure. Every decision has consequences and I won't know where it will lead until I turn the page. (cornball alert)
And of course, having three brothers, I often enjoyed their toys more than my own. This may explain my love of cars:Hot Wheels Car Wash- I fucking loved that thing.

Grr! Arg!

2008-03-05T07:52:00.000-08:00

It's hard to come up with a post every day. I'm losing steam already. However, I do have a suggestion for who should play Gabsosteel in a movie:

Anneliese Van Der Pol of That's So Raven- She's pretty, really funny and usually has red hair, just like Gabby.

And according to some, this girl would play me:

And not to miss out on an opportunity to set some folks straight on what they are doing wrong, I'd like to focus on tipping in restaurants and driving in the left hand lane on the highway.

I know I've mentioned this one before, but for the record, the correct amount of money to leave your server as a tip is 15%-20% of the total cost of the meal. For those of you that aren't math geniuses, simply double the tax. Now, there are a few exceptions to this rule. In my opinion, nothing short of blatant rudeness should cause one to leave any less than 15%. Forgetfulness should be overlooked as long as your server is sincerely apologetic and it is not excessive. Everyone has bad days. Please do not blame your server for the quality or temperature of your entree. They often have very little control over what comes out of the kitchen and it is frowned upon to ask a cook to remake something before the customer has tried it. Also, if you drink a lot during dinner, and tend to finish your beverages very quickly- do not expect a refill the second you put your first one down. Once the server figures out that you are a "fast drinker", she will probably be more on the ball for your subsequent refills. If you have children old enough to make their own meal selections, do not make your server stand there while your child debates over the macaroni and cheese or the chicken fingers. She could be refilling table 12's iced tea while you argue. I also firmly believe, as is the case at restaurants like the Olive Garden, where there are free refills on all soups, salad and breadsticks ,that if your bill is low but you have sent your server to the kitchen several times for refills, you should tip a little more than the suggested amount. Five bowls of soup and three plates of salad for $5.95 warrants a little more than a buck don't you agree?

Topic #2- The Passing Lane. Note that it is called the passing lane for a reason. If you are doing the speed limit in the passing lane, no one can pass you. While there are people out there who abuse this privilege and speed the entire stretch of their journey... that is for state troopers and police officers to deal with. If you want to be a law abiding citizen and drive 55mph on the interstate, by all means do so. Just do it in the middle lane that's all.

Paging Alan Cross

2008-03-03T16:16:00.000-08:00

Is Buffalo radio getting better? I found myself able to listen to 103.3 The Edge today for the majority of my outing without feeling the need to change the station. On my way home from work I caught the tail end of a rocked out cover of a Tori Amos song and almost got into an accident. I know the solution to all of this is simply satellite radio, but I would actually miss the d.j.s. There should be someone talking periodically that just lives and breathes the subject matter- whether it be the music or the city in which it is being played. I like traffic updates... I like local news blurbs...I like feeling somewhat connected to everyone else who may be listening. I just wish we had a program director who didn't cater so much to those listeners who can't move past the glory days of Metallica.

Inconceivable!

2008-03-02T09:42:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to carry on the family tradition of forcing our children to watch movies they don't want to see. I remember vehemently protesting against Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark. I thought it was a western. Dad said, "Shut up and pay attention. You'll change your mind." Obviously he knew better. Thanks Dad.
Last night i introduced Imani to The Princess Bride. The whole thing kinda played out like the situation in the movie between Grandpa and Fred Savage. At first she whined, huffed and puffed. I got a "This is corny!" and a " I'd rather go to bed than watch this." before she stubbornly buried her face in a pillow and threw the covers over her head. However, we all know that pirates, giants, and princesses are irresistible. By the time The Dread Pirate Roberts and Vizzini battled wits over a game of switcheroo, Imani was putting her two cents in as to the location of the iocane powder. So gratifying.

Here's a contender for The Most Romantic Line(s) in a Movie Ever:

Westley: Hear this now: I will always come for you.
Buttercup: But how can you be sure?
Westley: This is true love - you think this happens every day?

Got a favorite mushy movie moment? Let me have it.

Day 1

2008-03-01T17:52:00.000-08:00

I forgot today was the 1st and almost missed my chance to jump on the boat for this full month of blog posting. Having nothing planned I'm going to do what Mark does and just wing it for the next 20 min or so.

I look forward to the beginning of any new month because that is when Susan Miller posts the new astrology forecasts on Astrologyzone.com. At first I read them with a sense of playfulness but when several of her predictions actually occurred on within four days of the day she predicted, I started to take them seriously. I'm becoming one of those people who can't make major decisions without first consulting my horoscope... something I was afraid would happen. if Susan says not to purchase expensive electronics such as computers or digital cameras on or around January 1o, I will not buy expensive electronic equipment on or around January 10.

Last month my horoscope read that I would discover some disturbing news about a partner on the 20th that would sever the relationship for good. Well, on the 21st exactly that did happen. That being said, I'm really surprised sites like this one are not more popular. It's a site where jilted females can put up a pic and a detailed description of the toad that turned out to be just a toad. Hilarious! Here's a sample. I toyed with the idea of putting up a profile for Assholejerkface. I still may, who knows. There are roughly 160 entries for guys from Buffalo alone and I read every single one of them. Don't worry, none of you are on there.

Thankfully this month's forecast is much brighter going as far to say that March may be the best month of the whole year. Far out, man! It extra-specially emphasizes major life and career changes through opportunities given by members of my wide and influential group of friends. ( hint)

Not to change the subject, cuz I know how interesting my future must seem, but I went to see a Radiohead cover band at Goodbar last night... Nice try guys. I give them a lot of credit for attempting something so bold but I will never again pay a three dollar cover to listen to the butchering of music so beloved. Not even for the novelty. Consider yourself warned. Nice guys though, I feel kinda bad about it all. Oh well.

Better late than never

2008-02-23T06:05:00.000-08:00

I just recently decided what my New Year's Resolutions should be for the coming year. I found paperwork dating back at least five years that informed me that for those said five years, my resolutions have been exactly the same each year. Obviously I need a different approach. Previously they have been:

quit smoking
put money into a savings account on a regular basis
drink more water

Resolutions have now been changed to this:

quit dating sociopaths (they actually cause cancer as well plus make you want to smoke more)
carry cash more often and only use debit card for big purchases- I paid nearly $1,ooo dollars in overdraft fees in 2007 due to not keeping track of small purchases like gas and cigarettes.
just drink more. period.

bunch of goofballs

2008-01-24T09:34:00.000-08:00

I'm linking you to something that I found on AOL.com today... which is so lame. But I wasn't sure how many people actually checked out the silly things AOL posts on its main page. I found it so hilarious I couldn't let you ignore it. My personal faves are the "I'm Awsome" guy and "In Loving Memory".

Can anyone read German?

2007-12-18T17:31:00.001-08:00

I'm not really sure what this is all about... couldn't find info anywhere.

WTF!

2007-12-07T20:58:00.001-08:00

Anya's worst nightmare.

I am Jack's raging bile duct

2007-12-05T15:38:00.000-08:00

The other day I followed a link on AOL to a site that was going to show me the pictures of Jennifer Love Hewitt's ass that sparked a load of media controversy. Apparently Ms. Love has some cellulite and it is headline news. Apparently people like myself are interested enough to follow the links. Turns out that the site address, WWTDD.co m, is an acronym for 'What Would Tyler Durden Do'. WHAT?! Someone is operating a celeb gossip site in the name of the beloved anti-technology, hunter-gatherer nihilist and getting away with it?! Dude, did you watch the movie/read the book? I can see how you would think that what you are doing falls in line with Tyler's antics, but you are mistaken.
In his own words: "We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty-these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guys name on my underwear..." "What Would Tyler Durden Do" is self-described as "a blog focused on bringing you the latest gossip and news about rich and famous celebrities. And then making fun of them. Why? Because fuck them, that's why." Ripping on celebrities as opposed to glorifying them does not a Tyler Durden make. Celebrity culture leads to crazed consumerism and vice versa. Participating in either, whatever the forum, perpetuates their existence- not a Tyler move.
I'm not attempting to defend the scrutinized rich and famous...I love celeb gossip as much as the next person. Nor am I aligning myself entirely with the anti-capitalist philosophies of Tyler. However, I must say that I respect him. I respect the element of the psyche that he represents- the element that keeps us from becoming robotic droids. He is Morpheus in The Matrix. He is the woods in Shakespeare's plays, where all must go to gain perspective. He is the Freudian id and the Jungian animus. He is Drop Dead Fred. Nietzsche welcomes him with the hope that man can not only survive his influence, but become a master of the useful crisis he creates. F. Scott Fitzgerald said "The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function." He was talking about Jack and Tyler.
So dear blogger who operates" WWTTDD", I am not asking that you discontinue blogging on a topic that brings so many such gritty joy. I am however asking that you get it right. Call a spade a spade and leave Tyler out of this. And in response to your question " What would Tyler Durden do?" I believe he would take your blog, your computer and your digitally enhanced photo's and shove them up your ass. But not until after he beats your face to a bloody pulp. Enjoy your pseudo- liberation my friend, whatever that actually means. How well are your corporate sponsors paying by the way?

Veronica Mars part 2

2007-11-29T14:55:00.000-08:00

I promise this will be my last post on my latest favorite t.v show. The Veronica Mars fansites have asked that fans spread the word of it's greatness via blogs, Myspace, e-mails... etc. in order to create a bigger fan base. The campaign began before the CW canceled the show due to low ratings but is continuing on because talks of resurrecting the series in some form are in the works. I can't say it enough how much I love it. I just finished the second season and my heart is broken knowing there is only one left.
The relationship between Logan and Veronica rivals the Buffy/Angel and Buffy /Spike relationships. Basically, their repeated getting together and being kept apart revolves around them being extremely flawed people who continually have to save each others lives. The character Logan once described the affair as "epic"... you know "Spanning years, and continents. Lives ruined and bloodshed." I guess I'm so attracted to these types of relationships depicted in a television show because outside the created drama of high school, there really isn't much opportunity in real life for a situation like that to occur. And come on... who doesn't want epic love? Despite my cold bitch demeanor, I really am a mush ball at heart. So here's a fanvid I hijacked from YouTube featuring clips from the show set to a Natalie Merchant song that has to be the sappiest song I've ever heard. This is about as girly as it gets, so if watching it is going to change you're opinion of me, then please refrain.

And if you don't want to take my word for it, here's some from a few of the greats:

"Best. Show. Ever. Seriously, I've never gotten more wrapped up in a show I wasn't making, and maybe even more than those. (...) These guys know what they're doing on a level that intimidates me. It's the Harry Potter of shows." - Joss Whedon

"[Veronica Mars] is, hands-down, the best show on television right now, and proof that TV can be far better than cinema. Some of the best TV ever produced" - Kevin Smith

Why is Veronica Mars so good? It bears little resemblance to life as I know it, but I can't take my eyes off the damn thing." -Stephen King

What do they put in this stuff anyway?

2007-11-24T13:52:00.000-08:00

I almost called off work today so that I could stay home and watch more Veronica Mars. Instead I went in late and left early, offering a slew of excuses ranging from car trouble to having a dinner date. Actually, I turned down the dinner date along with invitations from various friends for a night out on the town in order to stay in my comfy p.j.'s with Miss Mars. Even my brother-the one with the Scarface posters all over his room- has jumped on the bandwagon. We three have sunk so low that we are now eating soup out of Tupperware because none of us wants to take the time out to wash the dishes. There is no pausing of the dvd for bathroom breaks in this family so we are literally dashing back and forth. I'd say we need rehab. Like Tim Horton's coffee and Mcdonald's fries, there's a special ingredient that is somewhat elusive that makes it so good and sooo bad. Buffy who? (oh my god, I just blasphemed. Joss forgive me.)

2007-11-22T09:13:00.000-08:00

I could wax poetic all day long about how grateful I am for my family and friends... and I think I do just that at every opportunity. So instead of writing down a whole lot of mushy stuff - here is a list of things that I've been finding indispensable lately. I am simply thankful for their mere existence and the joy they bring to my everyday life.

cars that work
Rock & Republic Jeans (worth every penny)
beef souvlaki
Target
old movies
boxed wine
online shopping
good decisions
Pilot G2's
dictionary.com (used 12 times for this short blog alone

cool bumper sticker siting

2007-11-15T08:09:00.000-08:00

fixer-upper

2007-10-30T18:05:00.000-07:00

I want to live here. I mean the library doesn't have those swingy ladders and there isn't a conservatory, but the secret passage kinda makes up for that. And it's probably haunted as all derelict English mansions are... bonus. The pic on the left is from some museum in Connecticut.

Separated at birth?

2007-10-24T13:07:00.001-07:00

Princess Dragomiroff from the 1974 film Murder on the Orient Express and Gary Oldman, the sexiest decrepit Dracula ever. (scroll down, I posted twice : )

Mad as a Hatter

2007-10-24T12:03:00.001-07:00

So, I really, really wanted to be Miss Wilhelmina Murray for All Hallows Eve this year, but alas, the perfect headpiece is more difficult to find than I had anticipated. I found a site that makes movie costume reproductions, but they are custom made and and located in Germany. Suggestions have been made not to wear a hat at all, but for me, that would be like wearing a clown suit with no make-up. In the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen comic series, she is shown wearing several different styles, so I suppose I could have broadened my search and come up with something. However, I did find sites selling patterns for all garments Victorian, including lingerie... not that I wanted to take this idea that far. So I was thinking, if some friends and I (hint, hint), wanted to get creative and industrious, we could do these guys some justice next year. I do have a sewing machine... I leave you to ponder the awesome possibilities.
.

Is it too early to put out decorations?

2007-09-18T05:22:00.000-07:00

great idea, sorry to rip it off (just this once)

2007-09-05T12:59:00.000-07:00

Eric admitted freely on his blog recently his embarrassing devotion to finding music through t.v. commercials. Also a fan of this mode,and inspired by The Humanist, I did some digging and found the catchy song from a Target commercial that I can't get out of my head. The only lyrics are "a little bit more" sang repeatedly over a superfunky beat. Turns out Jamie Lidell is a superfunky white guy and the song has more lyrics, joy!

been car shopping

2007-09-04T14:48:00.000-07:00

Over the years I've had a few "dream cars". When I was 9, it was all about Cindi Mancini's white cabriolet in the movie Can't Buy Me Love. The car was practically a main character. Google "cant buy me love cabrio" and you will stumble on various blogs where chicks profess their devotion to the vehicle because of the 1987 flick. In 6th grade I was determined to own a Spider Fiat without ever having seen one simply because the Wakefield twins shared one. (fun little quiz) Then, I couldn't wait to turn 16 when I planned to buy a 1966 red Mustang convertible and run away from home to Hollywood where I would become a famous starlet. (yeah, that worked out) Everyone knows my favorite of late has been this little guy. Obviously the fact that I live in a town where it is winter nine months out of the year hasn't had much influence toward more practical choices. I like what I like. My monthly horoscope from Astrologyzone.com, which is the most respectable site of it's kind, says this for September:

"You may receive a check due to you, hear about a raise, or be offered a new job. It's also possible that you will have to pay a large bill or that an expense you had not anticipated will come up. The best way this full moon may work out is that you will buy something madly expensive that you've wanted a long time. Cross your fingers that it's the latter! "

Needless to say... I bought something today that is mad expensive, that I've wanted for a long time. Don't get too excited, it's not the Mini.

back in the saddle

2007-08-30T07:59:00.000-07:00

Had my internet re-installed this morning, after a long, enjoyable summer without it. No pressures to check e-mails, myspace, or to satisfy the obsessive need to look at Guy Pearce's lovely, chiseled mug everyday. Myspace is now being used as a verb btw, as in " I'll be right back... I gotta go myspace real quick." Alas, summer is officially over for me... marked by the ending of the fair and the beginning of classes. ( ran into Garvey my first day back... what could be more pleasant than that?) Every August, I review the "things to do this summer" list that I compile as soon as the weather starts to look promising. And... I've not done a single thing on it. Read Gates of Fire- nope. Visit a state park- nope. Buy a bike- nope. To which I say- What good is a "to do " list unless you're going to ignore everything on it? There is no fun in getting things done. Shirking responsibility however, is another story. Had that list included: get drunk on the Livingston's porch-check. Go to work in the clothes you've slept in-check. Spend your entire student loan refund at TJ Maxx-check. Not that the summer was entirely wasted. I did visit this fantastic place a few times.

Phenomenon

2007-05-28T16:07:00.000-07:00

So I always get nostalgic with that song
But in my room it's forced
It has to be in some car across the street. -Big Wreck

It never fails... whenever I hear Nine Inch Nails' Closer on the radio, I only catch the very end. You know, the lengthy instrumental part. Any one else experience this? It's frustrating because it's so fun to sing "You make me perfect.." along with Trent. I suppose I could just throw the cd in but... it's just not as satisfying. There is something about unintentionally hearing a song you love.

literary detective

2007-05-14T11:05:00.000-07:00

So I've been going through old journals all morning searching for a poem I copied out of a poetry book at the ECC library. Typically, they are filled with a random mish mosh of "what I did today",quotes and passages I found relevant, phone numbers without names, to do lists, future resolutions, and the occasional artwork of my daughter, who found my pretty books so tempting. Here's an entry from April 1999:

But Mr. Matthews, I tell you anything
is better than this.
tears are better than this
Oh, and Miss Abbey Spritzer, I'm going
down,
come hither come hither
If I once ever said what I meant,
there was a problem
Anhedonia, she draws on my skin,
to maybe one day let the light in.
I've gone so far, I've come right back,
to fill up every hole that I lack
to fill up every hole that I lack
So I heard there's power in my youth
I won't see it till I'm caught up in it,
then it fades fades away
Emily looked back on her family, on
her life- the way I'll look back on
my time now, on my youth now

This entry is totally fucking with me because I can't tell if I wrote it or copied it. Here are my thoughts:

-I almost always credited the source if I copied something, in case i wanted to reference it later
-I was obsessed with the word and the condition, anhedonia. blogger is telling me it is not a word
-It would have been so like me, in a Tori Amos inspired way, to throw in odd names like Mr. Matthews, Miss Abbey Spritzer, and Emily ("Sniffing on a Sharpie pen, honey, it's Bill and Ben")
but I have no idea who those people are. but it's also common for me to find references to people I can't remember in my journals.
-It was and still is very much my style to repeat lines twice but I'm sure this can be said of a lot of people. Same goes for beginning lines with "but" or "oh".
-The sentiment, especially about youth, is ridiculously close to my own
-If it's not mine, I need to meet this person

what old journal entries reveal

2007-05-14T10:46:00.000-07:00

“If language is not correct, then what is said is not what is meant; if what is said is not what is meant, then what must be done remains undone; if this remains undone, morals and art will deteriorate; if justice goes astray, the people will stand about in helpless confusion. Hence there must be no arbitrariness in what is said. This matters above everything.”

That was written on the chalkboard on the first day of my 7th grade English class. I always thought Mr. Porter made it up. Just discovered it was Confucius. Must not have been paying attention. My bad.

2007-05-03T22:45:00.000-07:00

For the record, the next time I make a grand statement such as, " I think it's creepier when men date significantly younger women than when women date significantly younger men" and someone asks "Why?", I am simply going to respond... "because". (little smiley face here)

News From the Underbelly

2007-04-30T07:27:00.000-07:00

I guess I'm not ready to handle any backlash so i removed the post. But I'm leaving the article. Here

The home stretch

2007-04-25T09:06:00.000-07:00

Last week of school... I have worn the same shirt for three days. The dishes, finding the sink a little crowded, have taken up residence along the counter tops or have hidden themselves inside the oven. Mountains of laundry are waiting patiently to be fluffed, dried and folded into proper order. I have officially become a scumbag. This is what happens when one slacks off exceedingly the last month of classes. If all goes according to plan, all assignments will be handed in by noon on Thursday. Necessary celebration will follow.

All Hail The Goddess

2007-04-09T14:38:00.000-07:00

Here's a little bitty comment made by Tori Amos on Britney Spears' current state of mental health. Although I think Spears' problems have much to do with failed relationships and having children too young, I would never question her highness. In fact, Brit should lock herself in a room right now with copies of Little Earthquakes, Under the Pink and Boys From Pele and not come out until she gets it.

I am a jerk

2007-04-08T15:11:00.000-07:00

Ok, so you know the Founding Fathers waitress? The one nobody likes? Well... I ended up having a lengthy conversation with her late Saturday night after the discussion at my table turned to "poop". It turns out she is incredibly interesting and painfully sweet. I have never been more wrong in my judgment of a person. I left feeling humiliated at all the horrible things I've said about her and am determined to make up for it. You may notice some unusual chummy behavior toward her in the future. Just warning you.

Couldn't let this one go.

2007-04-01T12:07:00.000-07:00

I had to meet some friends from work over at Nietzshes(I don't know if that's how it's spelled;don't really give a shit) last night. I protested at first on principle alone but then realized that I have never been there before and it might not be so bad. heh heh heh.... The instant I walked in, this horrible smell assaulted my nose. I actually winced involuntarily and took a preserving step back. Now, I'm used to bars that smell like peanuts, stale urine, and fresh puke. That I can handle, but this was something new. I couldn't figure out what it was for a minute and then it finally hit me. "This place smells like DIRTY HAIR!!!", I said to my friends. To which Christa replied, "Oh you snobby Lackawanna bitches..." (which I don't think I've ever heard Lackawanna bitches referred to as) Seriously, don't shower for a few days and smell your scalp and that was what this fuckin place smelled like. Between all the dirty hippy boys and the lesbians that don't shave their arm pits, I found myself becoming violently angry at complete strangers for being so fucking cliche.

three conversations

2007-03-26T13:03:00.000-07:00

Bachelor #1 : 28 yr. old lead singer/guitarist for local band;recently returned home to Buffalo from "life on the road"

(4 a.m. phone conversation)

Me: How was the show?
B#1: (overly exhausted tone) Good, except for everyone wanting a piece of me.
Me: (uninterested) Really... that sucks.
B#1: Yeah, but I'm home now. (long sigh) Decompressing. Shows take a lot out of
me.
Me: Gee, I can only imagine.
B#1: Yeah, so I just come home and put whatever I have left of me into my art.
Me: (want to laugh) Oh...
B#1: What are you doing now? I could really use some inspiration?
Me: Well good luck with that. I'm in bed already. Did I tell you I have a paper due
Monday so I won't be able to make plans tomorrow?

Bachelor #2 : 27 yr old ex-marine, now engineer; former acquaintance

(conversation at Quote nite club while outside smoking)

B#2: God when was the last time I saw you? Do I look a lot different to you?
Me: No.. I mean I had no trouble recognizing you.
B#2: Yeah but I used to be a lot bigger.
Me: (confused)
B#2: You don't remember how big my arms were?! I have stretch marks bigger
than your head!
Me: um, well, I'm sorry. It has been a while.
B#2: Yeah, so I own my own house now... just bought a new truck... You really
don't remember how big my arms were?
Me: (apologetic smile) Don't feel bad. I pay very little attention to anyone but
myself.
B#2: (looking around) God... did you happen to notice all the ugly people here
tonight?
Me: Oh shit! I forgot I promised my friend I'd meet her... somewhere else!
Thanks for the drink!

Sophia: 4 yr. old niece who was bugging me when I was trying to take a nap this afternoon

Me: So, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Soph: um, I wanna be a piano player, a cheerleader, and a ballerina dancer.....
and a Queen!
Me: Ok sounds good. Here's the remote.

this video is sooo hot!

2007-03-23T13:09:00.000-07:00

I just can't figure out how they made Shakira look almost as tall as Beyonce.

Never said I wasn't...

2007-03-21T08:32:00.000-07:00

My Ebay package arrived today. I now own the same exact turtleneck sweater that Jessica Simpson has. Am I a loser if I feel 10% cooler than normal? If I ever run into her I can say, "Oh my God! I have that sweater tooooo!"

just my $.02

2007-03-19T14:20:00.000-07:00

Today I blew off an afternoon of homework and housecleaning and finally watched The Prestige. (If you haven't seen it yet please stop reading...I hate spoilers.) Considering that Greys Anatomy recently did a two part "shocker" where Meredith was under water for a good 15 minutes, subsequently remained "dead" for over an hour, and survived unscathed with mental faculties intact... I was a little skeptical of the drowning of the wife/assistant. CPR wasn't officially practiced until the 1950's but it was recommended as early 1740. One would think that these guys would know something about it,being that drowning was one of the major risks of that trick. I realize that she needed to die to facilitate the rivalry, but whatever, it annoyed me anyway. I have way too many questions left unanswered- Where was Angier disposing of his dead doubles? Why didn't Borden just tell his wife the truth? What was she going to tell Olivia? If she knew already, why did she hang herself? Who knew Edison was gangsta? And ladies, I still have no idea what you see in Christian Bale. I thought this movie would be the clincher. Nope. The only trick successfully pulled off by him was that of The Disappearing Upper Lip. Hugh Jackman however was delicious. And let us not ignore the too brief appearance of the coolest man on the planet-Mr. Bowie. The movie sufficed for a gloomy afternoon of slacking but I doubt I'll be watching it again.

A New Warhol?

2007-03-15T05:15:00.000-07:00

I love this guy.

Waoh!

2007-03-12T17:13:00.000-07:00

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

The Horror

2007-02-27T07:04:00.000-08:00

I don't know which is worse... That the cashier at Target was a kid from my poetry class and I was buying teeny little bras for Imani and one big bra for me or that at the library yesterday I deliberately and obviously peeped out my neighboring borrower's books only to find The Joy of Sex beneath a pile of science fiction novels. I think I'm gonna go with the former. You may say to yourself, "Why didn't she just pick a different line?" The cashier switched just as it was about to be my turn. In both instances there was plenty of mortification and embarassed blushing exhibited by all parties, including Imani. Now I have to go to class aware that the essentially teen-age boy across the room from me knows the details of my unmentionables.

The neverending saga

2007-02-15T07:24:00.000-08:00

About an hour after my last post, in a hypoglycemic frenzy to get to the second floor vending machine, I lost my wallet again. No worries though. I got in touch with my old friend St. Anthony and not a minute later U.B. was calling to let me know my wallet had been turned in. Immediately after that phone call, I went to hang a measuring cup on it's designated hook and serendipitously located the missing keys. I am beginning to suspect that I am unknowingly caught up in a cosmic game of "hot and cold" with the universe. Or that St. Anthony really missed me and was trying to get my attention. Also, I would like to point out that whenever an item goes missing, I am eiether drunk or hungry... or both.

2007-02-13T07:52:00.000-08:00

I found my phone then lost my wallet... found my wallet but now I've lost my keys. I am laughing the laugh of someone gone mad.

Things That are Annoying Me

2007-02-06T08:38:00.000-08:00

Malarkey: Miss America, Naiomi Campbell, Mel Gibson, Isiah Washington, Kramer... have all been sentenced by their publicists to a slew of public apologies and rehabilitation via therapy, not for drug and alcohol use by the way, but for statements made that made tham look like ignorant assholes. Ms. Campbell claims that the reason she beats her assistants and housekeepers is because she never knew her real father. Huh?

Squeezing every last dime out of a once good thing: Hannibal Rising

Ali Larter's acting ability: anyone else think the show could do without her character?

The Durex "Hump Day" advertisments that are on the radio all freakin day.

Dakota Fanning interviews

My First Crush

2007-01-30T07:38:00.000-08:00

Bear-baiting and Shakespeare

2007-01-22T07:02:00.000-08:00

(I have nothing really interesting to say today. I'm just posting so that anyone who may be checking my blog perodically has something to look at other than the blondes.)

After sitting at Starbucks the other day, reading this for two hours while my daughter was at the movies with her friends, my brain was full of all sorts of new literary knowledge relating to women's rights in third world countries, religion, and the nature of suffering itself... and incidentally, my brain was fried. So, I promptly gathered my belongings and got myself to the nearest supermarket (which happened to be Wegmans, the Mecca to all that call themselves grocers) grabbed one of these and some spicy tuna rolls, and went to Heaven. (Actually, I just went to that little seating area where people can eat and read magazines.) For some reason, it rounded the day off perfectly, and I will never again apologize or feel shame for my need of a trashy read. I was able to go back to the important stuff with a rested mind. But really, I long for the days when this was the important stuff and Bop magazine was the trashy read. Oh Menudo...

Coming up next: rumors of a lesbian love affair

2006-12-12T12:01:00.000-08:00

I am so wrapped up in the current installation of the Britney Spears saga. For those unaware, Brit has made BFF's with Ms. Hilton and according to all the mags at the supermarket , are out drinking EVERYNIGHT untill like 10am the next day. Well I am almost for sure that it's not like everysinglefuckinnight as the media spins it... and the 10am the next day thing, well, we've all been there. I mean god, the girls been pregnant for like two years. I understand the public outrage at her seeming lack of mothering skills but honestly, I can relate. I can't imagine what life would be like had there been a camera man always nearby to capture forever all of my finer moments. She just hasn't figured how to balance it all yet. No worries, she'll get there. Hopefully when she does, she'll also realize that she can afford a stylist. She looks really trashy next to Paris, which is nearly impossible when Paris is almost the trashiest celeb out there. I just gotta say though, I'm really curious as to what the two of them talk about. I'd take Paris as a BFF any day of the week... she probably buys awesome Christmas gifts.

Some advice..

2006-12-10T17:29:00.000-08:00

...double the tax. When you are eating out at a restaurant and it comes time to figure out what to tip your fairly decent waitress... don't stare at your wife , rummage through your purse, or pick that last remnant of nailpolish off your finger nail while you try to estimate a fitting amount... just double the damn tax, drop it on the table and get the hell out. If you dont have the exact change, stop being a cheap ass and round-up, geez. This is not directed at anyone in particular (cough, olive garden patrons), but if ya don't know, now ya know.

Next semester...?

2006-11-27T07:08:00.000-08:00

Now this is what Im talkin about...

2006-11-10T10:17:00.000-08:00

Bein' Greedy

2006-11-03T07:02:00.000-08:00

In lieu of going to class today I decided to hang out in the computer lab for hours and overindulge on the free internet access. (I just don't care if that kid in line needs to type out a midterm paper.) It has been a week of gluttonous activity, what with all the candy and stuff. But let's not leave out the fact that for the last two days I have been contentedly cloistered in my apartment with the first two seasons of Friends and all the Tony's French Bread Pizza and tater tots any girl could want. Also, I have a new favorite word: reconnoiter. (I've been reading some boring ass Melville novella..) Anyway, it's just so fun to say. But damn it, I'm finding no occasion whatsoever where I can use it in a sentence.

Keep on...

2006-10-24T06:04:00.000-07:00

This is for my writer-ly friends stuck in cubicles and kitchens:

(John Stuart Mill on his office occupation)

I do not know any one of the occupations by which a subsistence can now be gained more suitable than such as this, to any one who, not being in independent circumstances desires to devote a part of the twenty-four hours to private intellectual pursuits. Writing for the press, cannot be recommended as a permanent resource to any one qualified to accomplish anything in the higher departments of literature or thought: not only on account of the uncertainty of this means of livelihood, especially if the writer has a conscience, and will not consent to serve any opinions except his own; but also because the writing by which one can live, are not the writings which themselves live, and are never those in which the writer does his best. Books destined to form future thinkers take too much time to write, and when written come in general too slowly into notice and repute, to be relied on for subsistence. Those who have to support themselves by their pen must depend on literary drudgery, or at best on writings addressed to the multitude; and can employ in the pursuits of their own choice only such time as they can spare from those of necessity; which is generally less than the leisure allowed by office occupations, while the effect on the mind is far more enervating and fatiguing. For my own part, I have through life found office duties an actual rest from other mental occupations which I have carried on simultaneously with them. They were sufficiently intellectual not to be a distasteful drudgery, without being such as to cause any strain upon the mental powers of a person used to abstract thought, or to the labour of careful literary composition.-JSM

Holla!

2006-09-20T11:11:00.000-07:00

Never had this one before: the essay I turned in last class was returned to me today with "Damn!" scrawled over the top. This is from the professor. Yep... We're in love.

Good Stuff

2006-09-12T06:04:00.000-07:00

As if you all didn't have enough to do already... Bravo is airing the HBO series Six Feet Under beginning October 2nd. It's just gorgeous .

off hiatus

2006-08-22T22:24:00.000-07:00

I'm blogging... drunk. Absolutely horrified, horrified that I used exorcising instead of exercising in a previous blog. You are all a bunch of jerks for not telling me. Next time point it out so I can call you all a bunch of jerks for doing so. Love you.

Raiko?

2006-07-13T04:31:00.000-07:00

Just wondering if anyone eiether has or remembers this book? I've been looking for a book that I had when I was a kid and I think this may be it. One of the stories is about a goblin that helps a boy do his chores and the goblin would not allow the boy to say thank you ...or something like that.

God Bless

2006-07-04T20:59:00.000-07:00

Decided to celebrate the 4th by exorcising my right to religious freedom, and my right to say whatever the hell I want. Here's an excerpt from a text conversation I had with my daughter's father:

Me: Ur an asshole for not calling I__. on her birthday. (day before)
R: U know we dont celebrate birthdays
Me: I think ur fake. U just forgot
R: Ur the biggest fake. u never wanted her to be muslim
Me: Heres the problem..this has nothing to do with Islam, but thats all you people ever think about (yes, I said "you people" (cringe))
R: Ur a very ignorant person and u have no morals
Me:because I smoke, drink, and have sex occasionally with the devil?
R: I HATE YOU
Me: how very Islamic of you. do you want to bomb my house now?
Me: because I'll need to tell my mom to go to my gramma's for a few days
R: @#$%^&* %$#&& #$$$%$

a chuckle, a giggle, a snicker and a sneer. so wrong but so easy. I'm so going to hell.

Jimmy Choo and You

2006-07-02T19:15:00.000-07:00

Saw The Devil Wears Prada today. effing awesome , just like I figured. At points made a great case for the relevance of the fashion industry(stretch) , being that it's wearable art and all. But no matter how shallow I think it all is, by the time I left the theatre I was willing to give up my first born to be made 5'11'' and a size 4.
Speaking of haute couture ... I personally like this one better.

In need of corrosives

2006-06-24T12:32:00.000-07:00

I've noticed lately that I''m becoming obsessive compulsive about handwashing. This is directly related to my job, of course, where it is not uncommon to be splashed in the face with foot water and find someone's renegade toenail clippings under my shirt. (My friend Sarah once had a toenail clipping stick to her lips via gooey gloss.) Anyway...this is upsetting me because up untill now I have lived a carefree existence where germs are concerned. I have eaten french fries off the floor of my car, chewed abc gum, used my friend's tooth brush.....the list goes on, but you get the idea. My hands have been rendered permanently contaminated and I can barely muster the courage to wash my hair with them.

Today my germophobia progressed signifigantly further. I carried a towel around work with me and placed it on whatever flat surface I planned to sit on and when Sarah took a bite out of my lunch (remember the toenail), I lost my appetite and threw it in the garbage. Also the handwashing has gone up to the next level and Polmolive will no longer do. I'ts got to be Softscrub or an EPA germicide or I go into a frenzy. My daydreams, which once-upon-a-time evoked tropical beaches and handsome strangers, now conjure swimming pools of bleach or acid .

This means only one thing...I've got to finish school a.s.a.p and get a different job or you'll be seeing one extra person walking down Elmwood covered head to toe in white garbage bags.

alternatives

2006-06-23T09:33:00.000-07:00

Found this site looking for a book Amazon did not have. Believe it. Will definitely be buying from again solely because it's prettier, and gives book hunting it's due reverence. (Also wanted to try out my new linking superpower)

8 days and sober

2006-06-19T07:00:00.000-07:00

I'm finally out of the funk I've been in thanks to Paul Simon and some shopping over the weekend. I wasn't able to drink but did go to one of my local bars to celebrate with my friend LyndseyPants on passing her nursing boards. Not being able to truly partake in the festivities was a drag and by 2:oo in the morning I was ready to choke at least three people including my most recent ex-boyfriend who decided it was a neat idea to slow dance with his new girlfriend two feet from where I was standing. Whatever, loser. I made a shocking discovery though... In my travels I found a handful of items at Half and Half on Elmwood that I had just seen at the mall. Not a big deal in itself except that they were marked up 50% from what the mall was selling them for. Boys will not understand this... but us girls will pay the higher prices at a boutique for the simple fact that there is only a small # of each item being sold and therefor less of an oppurtunity for someone else to be wearing the same thing at a wedding (wink). In girl world there is little more satisfying than when a fellow female compliments your dress/shirt/shoes and asks where you got it...then when you tell them it's from an exclusive little boutique on Elmwood there is a moment of mutual understanding that she will probably not be able to get it. A strange form of competition, I know, but true nonetheless. This rule does not apply to one's own friends , of course. One-upping your friends is an affront to the system and knocks a few points off your total score.

FYI

2006-06-15T04:04:00.000-07:00

Only posting lest anyone should think my enthusiam for my new little hobby has lost it's fervor. Have been in a shitty mood (grr, arg), and any postings in this state may threaten to put anyone reading in the same.
Imani has, in fact, gone to stay with her Dad for the summer. I dropped her off on Sunday after Allentown with her little suitcase and a couple of quarters in case she gets lost or needs to hightail it outa there. I must say that I miss being responsible for her more than I thought I would (What?!) and don't think I will make it the whole summer. Also, my doc put me on meds for a sinus infection and says drinking alcohol while on them will make me violently ill. I've decided to not test his expertise and will be abstaining for the next week or so.. But things aren't so bad...Britney Spears is on Dateline tonight with Matt Lauer...oh yummy goodness.

Family Medicine

2006-06-11T16:04:00.000-07:00

(from a conversation held earlier today in my grandmother's kitchen regarding my aunt, who thank god has real doctors)

Gramma: "Something's wrong with Paula. She's always got a new pain... I think she's schitzerfrenic"

Mom: " Ma, that's not what what that is. She's a hypercondriact."

Gram: " Well, how come some days she's completely fine?"

Larry: "Sounds to me like she's a massive depressive....up and down all the time."

Just ....gross

2006-06-07T21:14:00.000-07:00

The leader of the brass band(snore) that played at a wedding I went to last Saturday asked me to go to Vegas with him tonight. It's, uh, pretty hard to score after you've shown me pictures of your grand kids, buddy. On the upside, at least I know now there's an alternative to going hungry.

Bring to a boil, reduce heat, then simmer

2006-06-06T04:13:00.000-07:00

Ahhh, my spawn has just left for a three day field trip to D.C. with her class. For the most part I am not a nail biting parent...("germs are actually good for your immune system, honey") and I view this break as my pass to live with reckless abandon for the next three days. This mostly means that I will eat Cheetos for dinner and sleep till noon. But everytime I send her off on one of these things, there are always those parents..teary eyed and wringing hands praying for their childs safety. They stand and watch the bus untill it's no longer visible as I skip across the parking lot eager to start doing nothing. And I think to myself, 'am I horrible, or just honest?'. Anyway, I have been awake since 4:30 a.m. so I'm feelin a little ornery. Much too early to be answering questions like " What if my Gatorade doesn't stay cold for the whole bus ride?!" Um...

To roll right along with my mean- spirited morning, I found the "letter of resignation" I wrote to my last employer right before I quit. I can't believe I almost gave this to him:

Dear Ron,
I'm sorry, but I can no longer work for you. I think you are too hard on your staff and I don't like the way you speak to any of us. Your arrogance is appalling. The money that I make is just not enough to put up with you.
Sincerely,
A.

P.S. I think you are a snapcase freak

air-brushed t-shirts and crab legs

2006-06-04T15:31:00.000-07:00

The three most memorable moments from my family's "vacation" in Virginia Beach(ick):

#3- I succumbed to hokey contrived patriotism when my brothers ship, the S.S.Porter, returned home from deployment. I shed tears as it came into view on the horizon. Those Navy boys stood at attention along the perimeter of the ship in all their white clad glory while a D.J. played " I'm Proud to be an American" and "Born in the U.S.A." Who could resist?

#2-Some members of The Neptunes showed up at a small club we were at and bobbed their heads to their own music.(courtesy of the little brown-nosing d.j.) I waited in joyful hope with eyes on the door. Alas, Pharrell did not show up to join his friends.

and the #1 most memorable moment from Clifton Hill w/A Beach ...My super-fly mom got so drunk she puked!! I will probably/hopefully never again witness such a spectacle..

Yay Yeah

2006-06-02T20:49:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to say YEAH! to Court who finally ditched her loser boyfriend Sneeve and is now dating a handsome well dressed young architect who lives in the city. Meanwhile, S. is appropriately miserable and I am very satisfied by this. Also a YEAH! to coming home from work and finding that my daughter delved into my dvd's and was on the 4th episode of the second season of Scrubs... and loving it.