In need of corrosives

I've noticed lately that I''m becoming obsessive compulsive about handwashing. This is directly related to my job, of course, where it is not uncommon to be splashed in the face with foot water and find someone's renegade toenail clippings under my shirt. (My friend Sarah once had a toenail clipping stick to her lips via gooey gloss.) Anyway...this is upsetting me because up untill now I have lived a carefree existence where germs are concerned. I have eaten french fries off the floor of my car, chewed abc gum, used my friend's tooth brush.....the list goes on, but you get the idea. My hands have been rendered permanently contaminated and I can barely muster the courage to wash my hair with them.

Today my germophobia progressed signifigantly further. I carried a towel around work with me and placed it on whatever flat surface I planned to sit on and when Sarah took a bite out of my lunch (remember the toenail), I lost my appetite and threw it in the garbage. Also the handwashing has gone up to the next level and Polmolive will no longer do. I'ts got to be Softscrub or an EPA germicide or I go into a frenzy. My daydreams, which once-upon-a-time evoked tropical beaches and handsome strangers, now conjure swimming pools of bleach or acid .

This means only one thing...I've got to finish school a.s.a.p and get a different job or you'll be seeing one extra person walking down Elmwood covered head to toe in white garbage bags.