lappy-not-so-happy

It's not that I didn't want to finish the homestretch... my computer crashed : (

ever the exhibitionist ...

... here goes:

• I eat raw meat right out of the package. Beef only.
• I have a serious aversion to running errands. I just mailed a birthday card to my good friend yesterday who's birthday was in November.
• I don't hug or kiss my mom. Not as a rule, it just works out that way.
• I like that feeling right before you get the flu when your body is a weak and achy and anything cold that touches your skin really hurts.
• I sing Jewel songs in the shower.
• This is a super embarrassing one -I still suck my thumb occasionally when I fall asleep. It just happens.
• I used to shop lift all the time when I was a kid. Mostly lip gloss. I never got caught but every single one of my friends did at one time or another. I guess I was smarter.
• I had a huge crush on my friend Gina's dad who sadly passed away a few years ago. I didn't tell her or her mom until after he was gone. Gina's mom said she couldn't blame me.
• I make Imani start the car in the morning 10 min before I drive her to school. We live close enough for her to walk. So that's our deal; she wants a ride, gotta start the car.
• I am obsessed with my goldfish Sheldon. I take exceptionally good care of him.
  

POP!

Maybe I'm a sicko, but I find it absolutely freakin hilarious when women get punched in the face. I just realized this when I was watching Romeo is Bleeding and Gary Oldman punches Lena Olin in the face after she tries to strangle him. And the only good thing about The Way of the Gun was the scene where Ryan Phillipe and Benicio Del Toro beat up two chicks in the parking lot who totally deserved it. Sara Silverman's filthy mouth is priceless. Sooo funny! I know there are more out there so if you think of any let me know.

This clip is from a pta meeting or something...

catching up

I know I've been a poor participant these last few days so I'm going skip the formalities and jump right into catching up...


1. What is your favorite word?
- For the way they sound: reconnoiter, spang-dangle*, plethora, bauble
For what they mean: dream, grace, love, compassion, inspiration, fruition...


What is your least favorite word?
- Any word referring to bodily functions for both sound and meaning
also boatswain... because you pronounce it bosun and that just pisses me off

2. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
-Beauty, quality, luxury... the struggle to express or understand emotions and moments that are intangible and always fleeting... anything elusive... connecting the dots... building bridges through shared human experiences,


What turns you off?
-money, complacency, the status quo

3. What sound or noise do you love?
-I used to live by train tracks. The sound of a train in the middle of the night is the most lulling, dream inducing, meditative sound I've ever heard. Also, Avril Lavigne's voice, my daughter saying "mama" and cicada songs in the summer(i used to think it was the sound the sun made when it got really hot)
What sound or noise do you hate?
-any alarm clock noise, goes right through me

4. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
-estate sales and antiques dealing. Old objects hold some magical quality for me. Agency for artists of any genre who are more talented than I.
What profession would you not like to do?
-anything involving a desk and a business casual dress code, drug dealing (legal or illegal), and politics

5. What is your favorite curse word?
-motherfucker

6. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
- "Yes I do exist and no I'm not pissed at you. Get in there..."





* spang-dangled is a word i use to describe anything that is too decorated in a gaudy way.

What Cinderella sits on when she watches t.v.

How absolutely gorgeous is this sofa! It's on Ebay with an opening bid of $499.00. It is so fairy tale princess and I want it, I want it, I want it!

If you decide to proceed, turn to page 23

I remember once my father saying to my mother that he was afraid I might have a social disorder or something because I was reading Nancy Drew in the living room on a sunny afternoon. He was serious and I was offended. So to address todays topic of things I was into when I was a kid, I'd have to say books have shaped my life more than anything.

I wanted to be as stylish and popular as Jessica Wakefield from Sweet Valley High. Jessica was boy crazy, didn't like playing by the rules and lied and connived to get herself out of any hot water she had gotten herself into. If that didn't work,she could always count on her good and wholesome sister Elizabeth to help her out..I would literally ask myself "WWJD?"(What would Jessica do?) before making decisions. The problem with that however, was that I ended up in more trouble than I probably would have on my own. As you can see, not much has changed.
I wasn't a totally lost case though... geekdom prevailed and I found my way to the Choose Your Own Adventure section at my local library. I became addicted. I had my little plastic library bag that I hung on the handlebars of my brother's BMX and I would ride there a few times a week and check out new ones. I still look at life like a choose your own adventure. Every decision has consequences and I won't know where it will lead until I turn the page. (cornball alert)
And of course, having three brothers, I often enjoyed their toys more than my own. This may explain my love of cars:Hot Wheels Car Wash- I fucking loved that thing.

Grr! Arg!

It's hard to come up with a post every day. I'm losing steam already. However, I do have a suggestion for who should play Gabsosteel in a movie:


Anneliese Van Der Pol of That's So Raven- She's pretty, really funny and usually has red hair, just like Gabby.

And according to some, this girl would play me:


And not to miss out on an opportunity to set some folks straight on what they are doing wrong, I'd like to focus on tipping in restaurants and driving in the left hand lane on the highway.

I know I've mentioned this one before, but for the record, the correct amount of money to leave your server as a tip is 15%-20% of the total cost of the meal. For those of you that aren't math geniuses, simply double the tax. Now, there are a few exceptions to this rule. In my opinion, nothing short of blatant rudeness should cause one to leave any less than 15%. Forgetfulness should be overlooked as long as your server is sincerely apologetic and it is not excessive. Everyone has bad days. Please do not blame your server for the quality or temperature of your entree. They often have very little control over what comes out of the kitchen and it is frowned upon to ask a cook to remake something before the customer has tried it. Also, if you drink a lot during dinner, and tend to finish your beverages very quickly- do not expect a refill the second you put your first one down. Once the server figures out that you are a "fast drinker", she will probably be more on the ball for your subsequent refills. If you have children old enough to make their own meal selections, do not make your server stand there while your child debates over the macaroni and cheese or the chicken fingers. She could be refilling table 12's iced tea while you argue. I also firmly believe, as is the case at restaurants like the Olive Garden, where there are free refills on all soups, salad and breadsticks ,that if your bill is low but you have sent your server to the kitchen several times for refills, you should tip a little more than the suggested amount. Five bowls of soup and three plates of salad for $5.95 warrants a little more than a buck don't you agree?

Topic #2- The Passing Lane. Note that it is called the passing lane for a reason. If you are doing the speed limit in the passing lane, no one can pass you. While there are people out there who abuse this privilege and speed the entire stretch of their journey... that is for state troopers and police officers to deal with. If you want to be a law abiding citizen and drive 55mph on the interstate, by all means do so. Just do it in the middle lane that's all.

Paging Alan Cross

Is Buffalo radio getting better? I found myself able to listen to 103.3 The Edge today for the majority of my outing without feeling the need to change the station. On my way home from work I caught the tail end of a rocked out cover of a Tori Amos song and almost got into an accident. I know the solution to all of this is simply satellite radio, but I would actually miss the d.j.s. There should be someone talking periodically that just lives and breathes the subject matter- whether it be the music or the city in which it is being played. I like traffic updates... I like local news blurbs...I like feeling somewhat connected to everyone else who may be listening. I just wish we had a program director who didn't cater so much to those listeners who can't move past the glory days of Metallica.

Inconceivable!

I've been trying to carry on the family tradition of forcing our children to watch movies they don't want to see. I remember vehemently protesting against Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark. I thought it was a western. Dad said, "Shut up and pay attention. You'll change your mind." Obviously he knew better. Thanks Dad.
Last night i introduced Imani to The Princess Bride. The whole thing kinda played out like the situation in the movie between Grandpa and Fred Savage. At first she whined, huffed and puffed. I got a "This is corny!" and a " I'd rather go to bed than watch this." before she stubbornly buried her face in a pillow and threw the covers over her head. However, we all know that pirates, giants, and princesses are irresistible. By the time The Dread Pirate Roberts and Vizzini battled wits over a game of switcheroo, Imani was putting her two cents in as to the location of the iocane powder. So gratifying.

Here's a contender for The Most Romantic Line(s) in a Movie Ever:

Westley: Hear this now: I will always come for you.
Buttercup: But how can you be sure?
Westley: This is true love - you think this happens every day?

Got a favorite mushy movie moment? Let me have it.

Day 1

I forgot today was the 1st and almost missed my chance to jump on the boat for this full month of blog posting. Having nothing planned I'm going to do what Mark does and just wing it for the next 20 min or so.

I look forward to the beginning of any new month because that is when Susan Miller posts the new astrology forecasts on Astrologyzone.com. At first I read them with a sense of playfulness but when several of her predictions actually occurred on within four days of the day she predicted, I started to take them seriously. I'm becoming one of those people who can't make major decisions without first consulting my horoscope... something I was afraid would happen. if Susan says not to purchase expensive electronics such as computers or digital cameras on or around January 1o, I will not buy expensive electronic equipment on or around January 10.

Last month my horoscope read that I would discover some disturbing news about a partner on the 20th that would sever the relationship for good. Well, on the 21st exactly that did happen. That being said, I'm really surprised sites like this one are not more popular. It's a site where jilted females can put up a pic and a detailed description of the toad that turned out to be just a toad. Hilarious! Here's a sample. I toyed with the idea of putting up a profile for Assholejerkface. I still may, who knows. There are roughly 160 entries for guys from Buffalo alone and I read every single one of them. Don't worry, none of you are on there.

Thankfully this month's forecast is much brighter going as far to say that March may be the best month of the whole year. Far out, man! It extra-specially emphasizes major life and career changes through opportunities given by members of my wide and influential group of friends. ( hint)

Not to change the subject, cuz I know how interesting my future must seem, but I went to see a Radiohead cover band at Goodbar last night... Nice try guys. I give them a lot of credit for attempting something so bold but I will never again pay a three dollar cover to listen to the butchering of music so beloved. Not even for the novelty. Consider yourself warned. Nice guys though, I feel kinda bad about it all. Oh well.